Apparently I have been so drunk that this epic of drunken ramblings has gone forgotten and untapped for quite some time. I really doubt that anyone comes here. Recently, the S.W.A.T. team asked me to help them on a raid. They gave me all the gear and sent me in to gas a group of "unruly" hoboes. By "unruly," I actually mean sleeping. It was tear gas. I had a gas mask, but forgot to put it on. My eyes hurt so badly last night. After the whole gassing incident, the S.W.A.T. team accused me of stealing the equipment...which I guess was partially true. It wasn't
really mine...then again, what really is? I don't think I own half of the liquor I consume. Most of it is given to me as a gift from children. I think they get other adults to buy it for them...but then they see how hopeless I look and decide that booze isn't the way...KAA-CHINGG!! This means free booze for me. I guess it's because I put on a good show or something. I can vomit at will. Not just any vomit...this vomit is gross...I kinda think I have a second stomach or something where I stock-pile all the good vomit.
I love Sea World. They make me feel right at home there. Everything indoors smells like vomit. Once, I passed out on the conveyor belt that goes past the penguin habitat. This little brat kicked me in the head until I woke up...so I just went to sleep on the benches designed for old people to sit on when their grand-children are so excited about the penguins that they won't leave the habitat. This old guy came up to me and asked me to move my feet...so I did. I respect my elders...because they are afraid of me. If I didn't respect them, it would be like i'm a bully. If I were a bully, the cops would come and hit me or something...or maybe the kids would stop giving me their booze.
Henry Rayker
