The fucking post office. They think they can keep me out of there just by putting up a door and a desk? NO! I have climbing powers. One time I climbed on top of a truck just to say I can do this. One time I killed every zoo animal just to have a pile to climb. It's not my fault they put them in separate cages and I'm lazy. I wasn't even drunk that day...or was it night. I don't remember...all I remember is that the guy at the gate said, "Oh crap...I knew I shouldn't have left the oven on." True story. I think I had a point...oh yeah. The post office. I need to write them a letter. How do you address a letter to the post office, though? Do you use a stamp? I won't. What I'm going to do from now on is just write things on all the envelopes that I send...things like, "Fuck you," and "Return to sender," and my personal favorite, "Why don't you come outside you yellow-bellied douche-bags. I have a gun and it has enough bullets for each of your heads to have one. My bottle was full but it is empty because I wanted to be drunk so that I could shoot better." I think that one might be a little long, though. Maybe I'll write it on a package or something.
Henry Rayker
